Anxious? Depressed? Confused?
We all get there sometimes..
One remedy, that does not require a life-numbing prescription is to get back to nature and ultimately yourself, no matter if you have never been. You dont need to head to REI and spend all this money on expensive camping gear. You can start with taking time away from all the things that plug us into the grid and head to a local park. Maybe bring some old bread and feed a few ducks. Feel the grass under your feet, but mostly just try to be.
Not as easy as it sounds, especially in the beginning. It will feel as un natural as anything can be. We have been saturated and inundated with electronic signals attacking us in every direction. We allow others via electronics to have control over our serotonin levels and dictate our happiness/sadness.
Nature in one form or another is and has always been there for us. It’s our home. And home is where we are supposed to keep calm and order at the ready to rebut all the chaos in the World.
Once we learn to live with the deepest part of ourselves, the noise that surrounds us all quiets and forms in to a “chaotic-order.” Meaning it can begin to make sense. The muted response to it all will give rise to the part of us all that define the other senses in no uncertain terms.
And while you are there in “nature’ as defined in many ways, please take care of it. With each tree that comes down and stream or river that becomes polluted, we loose more and more of ourselves.
Give it a try! Would love to know how it went as well..
I wrote this to support the program as it was looking forward to a chance at a grant from Mazda/NBC, but I evidently tried to submit it for review shortly after they closed the submissions. Rather than just slide it into a folder, I thought I would add it here and possibly deliver a message to a possible set of eyes that may feel the compulsion to help out as well, in any capacity.
As a photographer and artist by trade, I have long come to realize I will never be “wealthy.” That is defined by the fact that here will be no homes on the ocean with sweeping views that I have dreamed of nor will I fall asleep to the rhythmic lullaby of waves gentle lapping the shoreline.
But defining the term “wealthy” and the currency used to gain it, has taken on a completely different meaning lately in my life. The experiences I get to live out on a weekly basis whether it be to traveling to a distant shore, getting inside looks into the lives of celebrities, sport stars and all the common families that help build this country is something I was hoping to do when I retired from my 9-5, suit and tie gig.
The currency I was going to save in order to do all of this was based on years of saving and sacrificing what’s left of my youth. For the record I am in my 50’s and consider myself as youthful, if not more so than most 25 year olds. But I know my clock is moving so much faster.
The past ten years has blessed me with the chances and recourses to do something I knew I was here to ultimately do; give back. There are a few causes I like to donate my time and services to. One of which is the Wolf Connection (WC), in Acton California.
Here, the combination of love and thoughtful direction towards the misunderstood diverge in a perfect symphony of altruism. Abandoned, mistreated and often abused wolves are joined here with their human counterparts and where true healing and hope begin to take root.
I have been on hikes through the hot, dusty and steep hills with the leaders of this unique pack, accompanied by select wolves and the at risk kids, who at first often maintain a cool and at arms length disposition. As a photographer watching everything, including the attitudes and body language through my lens, it becomes apparent to me very quickly who is taking this serious and those who choose to keep their protective walls up. However, that will eventually change and that’s where the wolves themselves make their mark along with the stories told by the WC pack members themselves.
While the wolves can’t talk directly to them, the level of communication is undeniable. Concepts such as trust, humility, confidence and family will be introduced in simple terms to each child that’s willing to listen.
At times I walk with the kids to hear the conversations and a gain sense of their understanding of these new concepts. Last hike I heard terms “I can’t” or I’ll never” referring to their idea they can ever break away form the bad neighborhoods they live in or the broken family they come from.
The Wolf Connection offers a place they can learn to understand how to build the foundation for these foreign concepts and hope; strength and a plan to climb out the dark hole they currently find themselves in. The wolves themselves keep a healthy distance to those who aren’t ready to humble themselves by breaking down the rough exterior and walls. It’s when the kids earn their trust when the magic happens. A kinship in the purest and most primal form has planted its first seed and the foundation for a new understanding of how they value themselves as worthy recipients that will translate to the outside world they return to at the end of the day.
The idea is the new value they have in themselves keeps them away from the constant street fights, drugs and misleading fraternities within a gang. The very idea of hope is taught here. The direction it takes to be involved so the chance to climb up the ladder and out of their situation, school family and those in the community who are true leaders will appeal to them.
Like with wolves in the wild, it’s all about surviving and being associated with the right pack. And like these wolves here, abused and left behind, the hopes for second chances are realized. To move forward, forgiveness, humility and a solid plan path their new road from Acton to Watts.
By the end of the hikes, I have often witnessed the “I Cant’ attitude change to many questions of how they can, and this step to these kids is invaluable as the seed has now been planted. The program last several weeks to properly water and feed these them so the roots can spread in an otherwise barren pot. The impact to each kid cannot be measured, as its impact on the community they live in eventually will.
If kids who leaned towards the idea of the easy dollar or sense of community through crime and civil disobedience can be show the road to a more fulfilling life, the community itself is exponentially healed. These kids cannot only be the students, but more importantly the teachers. How does one put a value on that that is not understated?
In life every thing boils down to currency. In my case, my currency is the gift of trust I ultimately get from many of these kids. To have a child who has literally been left behind by their community, friends and even family ask advise from me or want to bounce an idea of me makes me a very wealthy man. I am honored to contribute to such a program.
As for the currency and what it means to (WC), the motor that drives the operation is not cheap. Housing, feeding, caring and medicine for the wolves is expensive. The manpower it takes to maintain the acreage and support the programs for the kids and is paid in US dollars. A donation from Mazda/NBC of this amount is a game changer would help level the playing field for so many more who can’t see that they can also be “wealthy” too.
Filled with fear? Possibly just ignorance.
Don’t know how else to explain it.
Usually once a week, on Wednesdays I take my pooch, Henry to a dog park in El Segundo as it is much larger than his usual spot in Manhattan Beach and it gives him a chance to play with other buddies he otherwise does not see. It’s a real pain with all the morning traffic and takes a while but he loves it so I just do it begrudgingly.
Each time I go I have noticed that there is always a car parked along side the park with a man sitting in it with his dog. Pretty sure he is listening to music and the dog just stares longingly at the dogs playing in the park. I find myself glancing over form time to time and he’s constantly there. In fact he’s never not been there. The site of that little face staring with the fog spot on the window where she breaths on deflates me each time and my heart always goes out to her.
Many times when I leave the park, I walk right by them with Henry and the dog just sadly stares at us. It leaves me with such a crummy and empty feeling each time. My ride home is ultimately consumed with the plight of this poor dog and how his owner could be so cruel.
After several more time to the dog park, I noticed my resentment for this man growing. As this anger inside me continued to snowball, I decided I simply could not take it anymore and decided to go over.
To say what? Do what? Had no idea. If nothing else maybe just ask the guy if it would be okay if I watched over the dog in the park while he sat in his car listening to his music. There was no real plan. But I had to do or say something.
While I was headed there one of Henry’s best friends came in and distracted the situation. It did so long enough for me to ask the other dogs owner, who lives close by what the story was with this guy. Pretty sure I asked in a snarky tone as well.
She proceeded to tell me the man lives in the tree section of Manhattan Beach. His dog has a rare bone condition that does not allow it to play with others. So he sits there with her for as long as it takes until all the dogs are gone so he can take her into the park and allow her to run around and sniff stuff to her heart delight.
The woman basically saved me form myself. I was speechless and confused how I never considered that possibility. I pride myself in placing myself in another shoes and trying to see a situation form their perspective. Not only did I not do this, but felt like such an indignant jerk.
Suddenly my complaining about the traffic one day a week to make my dog happy was insignificant. I was embarrassed for myself. This man does it every day, and waits for as long as it takes to give his pooch one shot each day to be a dog in a safe place.
I needed to do something or tell someone as I know I could not be the only one who had the same line of thinking. I am sure this initial reaction was to undo a wrong I had done as fast as possible. Even if that wrong was never manifested itself outside my own confused brain.
Talk about serendipity; a woman of another dog I know and whom I just photographed for her store, came to me and asked what the deal was with the man in the car with the dog.
And talk about a chance to confess to someone what a buffoon I was!
It was as if she was directly sent to me to shed some light; a very warm and heart touching light on such a heartbreaking situation (or heartwarming, depending on your view.) The weight was lifted.
The impact however will never be. Lesson learned, again.
Two carefully chosen words Merriam-Webster Dictionary uses to define Zion are “Heaven and Utopia.” Although, these references represent more of a symbolic idealism based from Judaism, after hiking for the second time through the grand cathedrals of colored sandstone walls, I think it is safe to say, this reference can easily be shared amongst many faiths.
Morning greeted us with shades of blue in the sky we simply don’t get in Los Angeles. With the absence of clouds, thoughts of flash floods quickly evaporate in the 110 degree heat as did the residual stiffness left from the seven or so hour long drive from Los Angeles.
Another colorful greeting came to us riding the warm current of air above the river on the wings of Monarch Butterfly’s as they fluttered about through out the hike. They lead us down into the winding torrent of small rapids, springs, waterfalls and golden reflected pools of surrounded by hanging gardens of shooting stars, evening primrose, larkspurs, monkey flowers even orchids to name a few which sprung from seeping water from the confluence of the canyon walls. The contrast is stunning for an otherwise hot and arid desert terrain and is highlighted with colorful oasis blooms throughout the canyon.
Entering the shade provided by the Narrows combined by soaking in the cool Virgin River away from the dry, skin cracking heat of the surrounding Valley, was very much Heaven. In fact, it was the word that popped into my mind first as the temperature dropped immediately. The word utopia was not far behind it either. In an instant, sore legs and toes began to tingle with life once again. Suddenly I’m prepared to continue through the next leg of the 16 mile journey as the chilled water swirls around my calves in a soft massage easing the burden of the pack pulling from my shoulders as well.
The river leads us into the cool cover of shadows cast by breathtaking walls as high as 2000 feet and with widths of only 20 feet in some parts. It becomes increasingly hard to move swiftly into the winding corridor as the footings is anything but sure with moss covered rocks underwater and the views that are mostly above.
It is truly a feast for the senses and the eyes are continually seduced away from the next footprint I will leave as they are constantly scanning the expansive rock formations etched by flash floods, runoff and snowmelt.
It’s easy to look around and see how millions of years shaped this place into what it is, but the canyon is still being sculpted as I walk through it even today. The river carries sediment and large rocks as well as small grains of sand which make their way down the river, grinding and carving new formations all the time. Add wind, ice and rain to the mixture and the result is a living, evolving creation which goes straight through your eyes into the depths of your soul.
Below, ghost like formations serve as a reminder of what the elements and father time does to us all. In this case though, turns solid rock into an art form.
No matter what journey brings you to Zion or how you feel before you enter the Narrows, one thing for sure; you will feel closer to whatever your particular notion of Heaven or Utopia is long before you leave it.
To me Zion is a slice of Heaven
Thanks to my Three Amigos for enhancing this experience as it is always better to share paradise amongst the special ones in our lives.
From a scribbling I put together a few yrs back with a few small changes. But the spirit of thankfulness, perspective and inspiration remains. I thank God every day for the gifts I have to use at my disposal and why perspective, inspiration and gratitude will always be a theme that dominates my writing.
Like most of my longer training rides on the bike, the goals are simple. Ride until eventually my body learns to the art of minimizing my muscles demands for oxygen to metabolize an increase in blood lactate and increase overall aerobic thresholds. Usually my journey begins with pain in the legs but usually ends up taxing everything from between one ear to the next and back. Tonight’s ride should be no exception.
As turmoil has been a steady companion of late I guess I should have known better. After 2 hours plus of burning the quads with several climbs, I suddenly noticed one of my favorite things in life. The sky was turning all shades of red and blue and the South Bay was preparing for a spectacular show as the sun fell behind the sea. I glided to the end of Hermosa Beach pier and just sat there in a now cold sweat, watching the sky and the water try to outdo each other as if it were a duel of master painters. It was chilly and I was wearing nothing more than swim-bike shots, lycra form fitting vest and arm warmers. But the cold never affected me as I stared at the show like a kid at a first circus waiting for the next thing to happen.
Then the inevitable began to happen….I began to think…Shit; too late now as this ball had already started to roll. For those who can’t sleep at night due to a restless mind know what I am talking about. I stared deep into and beyond the swirls of color mixing the waters currents and then upwards beyond the colors of the sky until the colors were all but gone. Suddenly I could see a star shining over the horizon and it did not appear to be a planet. My astrology is lacking so I can’t tell which star it was, but it caused me to do what most of us have done one time or another; feel really, really small..
I began to think about time and space and my place in it. And in the end how do my problems even matter? How could they? But to me they freeze me in my tracks; every time.
A “first down” in football is ten yards. It takes light to travel that far in about 30 nano-seconds and light can go 300 million yards (or 30 million first downs) in ONE second.
The same little beam of misguided light would take 1 1/4 seconds to get to the moon and to the sun (which is BTW 109 times the size of the Earth) and would take little Mr light beam 8 minutes to arrive.. Hang with me, there is a point.
Jupiter is further out and would take 40 light-minutes to feel the love and Pluto is a whopping 5 ½ hours away for the train to reach its station and far too many first downs for me to figure out.
Now for the amazing part.. That twinkling and insignificant wobble in the sky is no less than 4 ½ years away for that wayward beam of light to arrive. Beyond that, my head just really begins to hurt. It must be from slamming it into that brick wall they built at the very end of the Universe back when the UFO’s also build the Pyramids of Ghiza. It’s enough to imagine our little hub of insignificance in all of this expanse too large to wrap my mind fully around.
But if I were to try…..
The nearest cluster of Galaxy (the Virgo Cluster~only remembered because I am one) is
50 million light years away and to totally blow the top of your head off, the visible edge of the universe is 13,700,000,000 (yes, billion) light years away. Or as Cal Sagan would have said “beillionn.”
So back to our little flickering and dim light in an otherwise endless forest full of Sequoia Christmas trees we have to ask ourselves the same question. Do we count? Do we matter at all in the end?
From events unfolding form warring nations, all the way down to even the little kid crying because Santa’s gift this year wasn’t what was wished for and everything else in between, it’s just a pimple on a pimples ass in the end of a flea no less. That is if fleas actually could get a pimple of course. One day it will be dead silent here and really dark and cold. Somewhere zillions of first downs away and even more zillions of years something will be crawling out of the mud to choke on it’s first breath. Or two overzealous leaf bearing zealots will hook it up again,…But life will come to be. Somewhere out there..
Whatever happens, will they eventually stand at the end of a pier one year and look out to the sky and begin to feel just as small and even insignificant?
As I turned my bike around to ride several, but not too many first downs back to my home, a father and son ( I presumed he was his son) approached me for a picture. I said sure and suggested we use the faded light of the ocean for the background as I reached for the camera. The father said no, it was his son who wanted the picture with me. I just stood there and didn’t know what to say. I was sure they thought I was someone else. It’s happened plenty of times before. So I kept on saying nothing and smiled for the photo with my arm around the kid.
The smile on the teen aged kid was enough to answer my question with out a word being spoken. I was not about to discourage that amazing smile.
Hell yes, I mattered, I mumbled to myself under my breath.. Or at least the guy they thought I was did…It really didn’t matter. I connected with someone the very second I asked this silent question and it was evident.
If this was not significant in any big pictures and about my place in it, then what does that say about me?
I glided back down the pier with my bike toward home.
He glided back down the pier in his wheelchair..
We all tend to live with an eye on what’s to come based on what has already happened in our lives. The struggle just to get through any given day often forces us to shift our brains into a gear that is meant for plowing forward and gobbling up as much (chores or work) as possible. Most of that time is spent wondering about where the time will come from and the energy to pursue with focus.
Life becomes a never ending stream of checklist, littered with post it notes, leading us faster down a familiar but ultimately unrewarding path. With every passing year, more and more energy on managing the day itself becomes increasingly important.
We are bombarded with notes like, wash the car, clean the yard, pay the bills
pick up groceries, do laundry, fill cars up with gas, pick up kids and drop off form school, get to gym, etc . And thats on our off time like the weekends, except for picking up the kids from school I suppose.
When do we ever to create post it notes like ,take deep breaths, stop and help someone who needs it, slow down or simply think about our dreams. How about ask a friend, neighbor or family member how they are really doing and actually listen until they are done. Take an interest and become something larger than ourselves.
I come from the very definition of a blue collar family, I know first hand how hard it is to turn off the “work mode” and completely relax. Don’t get me wrong, work is really good for the soul. In fact, there are few things that feels as good as a job well done. There has to be a balance though. A long time ago, I turned to Yoga to help me with my triathlon training. I found it also allowed myself the space on ability to take a simple unregulated breath with out any concept other than to feel the air go in and fill my lungs and then leave in a long purging breath out. Sounds simple, but to someone like me, it took months to allow myself to do so with out peeking out squinted eyes to see if every one else was doing the same thing and not all looking at me make a fool of myself. I have been a worker bee my whole life. It’s burned into to who I am as a person. Even in college, I did not go to parties until all my homework and studying was done. Many times I wandered completely sober into a rager well after 1 or 2 am feeling like the only sober person on Earth. But that worker bee attitude also was instrumental getting me caught up there fast enough as well.
Simply saying to get out there and do something and get off the damned couch is lazy and well; simple. It really serves no purpose other than to tell others what their doing wrong. I’d rather offer ideas and underscore the means to connect them to every day reality in an effort maybe reach at least a single person out there who may want a little to a lot more out of life; your life.
So try this project: Take a day and drop off the face of the earth from it all. Turn off the smart phones, computers and TV’s. I know, God forbid! Put some music on and make a home cooked meal with a significant other and the agree to only discuss “trivial pursuits” like philosophy, dreams and wishes…forget anything and everything that reminds us of the day to day task that bury us and our dreams alive.
Stop living in your past and thinking too far into the future and see what its like to feel the here and now .If geographically available climb a mountain, take a long swim in the ocean, go for a bike ride, lay back in the largest field you can find and watch the clouds roll over, etc….
One does not need to be and adrenaline junkie, but if you talk to enough of them there is a very common theme. When climber thinks of a mountain to climb, for instance, there are all kinds of thoughts and ideas into the route, a day, the weather conditions, etc..but when the first step is made at the base of a sheer face, the mind switches to the hear and now. It has to. Each step is calculated, each breath monitored and the brain begins to feel the moment with hi definition with alarming clarity. So much so, that everything that was clouding your thought patterns with bombarding task off the “to do list” is gone. Think of your brain like a computer that has not been turned off for months and has all of those programs running in the background. Its slow, unresponsive and will shut down in an unpredictable way and mostly at the worst time.
Clear out the dead wood in your life or those who continually drag you down. Allow the programs running interference to all be turned off and start of fresh. This does not mean to shun all those that may disagree with you. The ones who challenge you to expand and think deeper should actually be help in high regard. Say good-by to the narcissist in your ives and those who bask in constant negativity. We all know who they are. Sometimes they are even family. If they don’t change, you must. But its crucial you are honest with yourself here as we all tend to protect those who hurt us the most in this regard. This is where the courage must manifest itself. Do you have what it takes?
Rebooting ourselves and clearing the debris to launch the thoughts that we decide to program and not the ones that bombard us though news-bites, headlines, bad apples etc
Fill you heart with life, wonder and love and give it back to those who are in your lives. Pick up someone emotionally and making their day a bit brighter. Then sit back and feel how it affects you. Its the absolute best feeling there is. It feeds you.
So start the new year off with a gift to yourself that is long overdue..just hit the “reboot” button..Never to beconfused with the “reset” button..We all know that one does not work:)